Relief

I found a spot in Claremont that feels right. Where I can go to get away from life and everything that it entails. There isn't something immediately wrong in my life right now, it's pretty good I would say. But I can feel something coming, we all can. It's this unsettling empty feeling in my stomach, like somethings coming and this is a calm before the storm. But this place. It's beautiful. I'm surprised I didn't find it sooner, and it's way better than the top of Esporanza, I'm glad my other half showed it to me. It's the closest I've got to the HSU pond. I can be absent of thought, emotion, and time there. Even if a few cars drive by or one stops to share the view, I still feel isolated. I can have time to myself, for myself. It was nice. There drive up there is awesome, fast and curvy I loved it. (Well fast is up to you but still)
I'm glad I know of it. I want to go there at night again, like the first time I saw it. The stars are breathtaking, and during the day so is the view. Thank You Claremont for having hidden treasures for me to discover, it's really a life saver in my anxious time.




Besides this. I'm strangely content with my current relationship status. I'm single, and I have been for the longest since I can remember. It's nice, rather than lonely. I see these relationships around me and some are going well but most are just having trouble. I don't dislike being single for the first time in a while. I have no one to over lap my relationships with, no one to even flirt with on a relationship level. Which is not completely true cause there are people who would like to do so, but I chose not to acknowledge that. Me and my other half have switched places it seems. She has too many, but she's enjoying it. I have none and I'm enjoying it. Sure if I meet someone along the way and the chemistry is there, I'd love to explore it and see where it takes me. Sure if the guy I do have in the back of my mind at all times decides to acknowledge that more than he has I'd love to explore it with each chance we got. But if it doesn't happen I still have his friendship. I just wish he would was easier to read. I don't know how to put up a wall against him, he reads me too well. I don't think he's aware of how well he can hear me. I doubt he gives me a second thought. But I know he's my friend and he considers me one and I am happy with that.
Well, life, let's see how long this lasts. You almost tricked me today, but I'm a bit smarter now, I know that may never happen and I'm completely ok with that.

I am happy.